Yay going to see Metallica again at Wembley!! Can't freaking wait! I'm not skint cos the tickets were £45 but who cares! I'm so happy lol

RequiemDreamz

Go add!

Thanks for the texts Jodie. It made the whole situation alot better, even if I didn't text back lol

It was a bad day, very very bad day.

Here's some rumours about who's playing at Download this year! I'm going for the whole weekend so it's looking good!





Download Festival - Friday 8th to Sunday 10th June 2007
Main Stage
Friday 8 June
My Chemical Romance - strong rumour
Saturday 9 June
Linkin Park - strong rumour
Sunday 10 June
Iron Maiden - to be confirmed
Snickers Stage
Friday 8 June
The Cult - rumour
Saturday 9 June
Motley Crue - strong rumour
unknown day
Enter Shikari - rumour
unknown stage
Friday 8 June
Fall Out Boy - strong rumour
Saturday 9 June
Evanescence - strong rumour
unknown day
Machine Head - strong rumour
Children Of Bodom - rumour
Lamb of God - strong rumour
Marilyn Manson - rumour
Megadeth - strong rumour
Mendeed - rumour
Slayer - strong rumour
Wolfmother - strong rumour

Abandon_All_Hope_Now

That be my VF accountname thing. If you have one add me!

I'm not going to be online from tomorow until January because I'm heading on over to Newcastle.

Hope you all have a great christmas and new year! Those who I have their mobile number will get a textular message on one or both of those occasions :) Can't phone anyone because I don't have enough credit lol

Might be on later, but if I'm not I'll talk to you in 2007!! Wierd thought.

I'll also write a big longass entry when I get back. The looking back over the year kinda shabang like I usually do. Can't be bothered to do it now.

Haven't got any presents yet :( but I'll have em when I get back lol

Oooo also Jodie I might be going to Edinburgh for a bit so if I do I'll make

I can finally play Moonlight Sonata fluently on piano! Thank fuck it was annoying me royally! I'm all self taught so I've had no help. Hehe I be happy. I can now officislly play Moonlight Sonata and Final Fantasy 10 Ending Theme. The two pieces I've been aiming to play fully before christmas. Woop woop for me.
Now I'm gonna try play Tocatto and fugue all the way through. Can play Tocatto but not Fugue O.o

Grrr just saw the new Ginger dates, it's the day AFTER I come back from my dad's!!! Seriously that is not good lol

Q. 1) What Are You Listening To Right Now?
A) Ginger and the sonic Circus

Q. 2) How Did You Learn About That Artist/Band?
A) He's a geordie, alot of people talk about him in Ncastle so thought I'd check him out

Q. 3) Who Is Your Favorite Band/Artist?
A) Ginger and the sonic Circucs

Q. 4) How Many Band Shirts Do You Have?
A) 5ish

Q. 5) How Many Concerts Have Youve Been To?
A) 4concerts, 25bands

Q. 6) Any Upcoming Concerts?
A) yeha on Friday actually I think

Q. 7) Whats Your Favorite Song At This Very Moment?
A) Call me when your sober - evanescence

Q. 8) What Is Your Favorite Venue?
A) The Pitz

Q. 9) Dream Band/Artist To See Live?
A) no idea

Q. 10) Farthest Place Youve Traveled To See A Band/Artist?
A) Leeds

Q. 11) Concert Your Dieing To Go To?
A) The one on Friday, emmense local band!

Q. 12) Do You Have A Concert Buddy(ies)?
A) Jade I guess lol

Q. 13) Have You Ever Met A Band/Artist Person?
A) indeedy

Q. 14) How Many Autographs Do You Have? List Them
A) no idea

Q. 15) Have You Ever Been In A Moshe Pit?
A ) hell yes

Q. 16) Have You Ever Crowd Surfed?
A) nope,

Q. 17) Have Youve Ever Seen A Band/Artist Out In Public? What Did You Do?
A) I've seen Ginger at a few Ncastle games, the game was too good to go say hi lol

Q. 18) Have Youve Seen An Band/Artist In Concert More Then Five Times?
A) nope

Q. 19) Have Youve Ever Given A Present To A Band/Artist?
A) yeah, an half empty beer can

Q. 20) Are You On Any Band/Artist Message Boards?
A) nope

Q. 21) Do You Have More Then 100 Photos From Concerts?
A) nope

Q. 22) Whats The Longest Youve Waited Outside For A Concert?
A) 2hoursish

Q. 23) Do You Save Your Concert Tickets As A Memorabilia?
A) but of course!

Q. 24) Do You Start A Countdown For Your Concerts?
A) nah unless there really good

Q. 25) Do You Buy Merchandise At Concerts?
A) If I actually remember my money

Q. 26) What Was The Last Concert You Went To?
A) MK4U

Q. 27) Would You Buy Tickets To See A Band/Artist You Like Even If They Were The Opening Act And You Didnt Like The Headliner?
A.) Yep, Went to go see Ginger when he was the opener for Hanoi Rocks. Still stayed to see Hanoi. Everyone needs a bit of glam rock

Q. 28) Whats The Most You Spent On A Ticket?
A.) £60 for download. for a normal gig it was meant to be £15 but I got it for £10

Q. 29) Who's The Best Performer You Have Seen Live?
A.) Ginger without a doubt. Bit of Stand up bit of singing lol

Q. 30) Did You Enjoy This Survey?
A) it was ok, kept away the boredom for a bit

Leave your name and:

1. I’ll respond with something random about you.
2. I’ll challenge you to try something.
3. I’ll pick a color that I associate with you.
4. I’ll tell you something I like about you.
5. I’ll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I’ll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I’ll ask you something I’ve always wanted to ask you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your Myspace. (Um, make that LJ. Myspace makes my eyes bleed.)

Time-Tested Beauty Tips
For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge you'll never walk alone ...

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived,
reclaimed and redeemed and redeemed and redeemed. Never throw out anybody. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm. As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands. One for helping yourself, the other for helping others

Gah the party didn't happen. No one can be bothered, I'm just like bloody hell it's Paddy's day, you gotta have a party, meh I'll just have to keep myself from getting bored . . . somehow.

hmmm managed to play Nothing Else Matters on teh piano, and Hello which amazingly I'm getting pretty good at.

Tom's been getting at me again today, he seems to think that because us lot and him haven't talked in ages that we would have forgiven him well HI? no we haven't, why can't he just piss off. It was funny, he came up to me and said hi I ignored him, then he went over to Olli and said hi, Olli just stood there staring blankly into his face then turned round and started talking to me. Hehe childish maybe but hella funny.

I'm feeling wierd tonight, sorta lost(yet again) I dunno it's wierd. I'm listening to memories by Within Temptation which in itself is a hard song for me to listen to but I dunno I'm feeling different to what I usually do. hmmmmm . . . More empty and lost(god I'm loving that word today)

I've been writing a tidgy bit today aswell, not much but a few sentences hehe All total crap, I don't like em at all but it's all I can get from this thick head of mine.


I’m lying on my bed, the usual shouting thundering beneath me. This time it was about my schoolwork. I’ve only been in school for 6months yet my grades are already below average. Personally I’m not bothered about it but my parents, oh my parents think differently. They are adamant that it will effect me in my later years. It won’t, it’s just that I don’t enjoy school. I prefer my old school. I wanna go back so badly, it won’t happen. My parents are happy here, and when their happy they don’t care what I think. Anything to save their oh so precious marriage. It would be so much better if they just divorced. Yes it would be a lot of hassle but in the long run it would be so much easier on me. I wouldn’t have to be the mediator, I wouldn’t have to heave their sorry asses off each other to prevent anyone killing the other.
I long for a normal life, but I’m scared it won’t happen. Not now, not after moving. I’ve left all my friends, what if I never make new ones? What if I end up being the girl sitting alone in the corner, no one comprehending my existence? I don’t want that. I’ll do anything for it not to happen, however nothing can stop me from losing myself. From forgetting who the real me is, that is what I’m most scared of. No not scared, petrified.

The shouting has stopped. There’s an eerie silence sweeping through the house, I hate that silence. It always emerges after a big ass argument. This one however didn’t sound huge, it sounded slightly sluggish compared to the others. I usually have to clear up broken glass or something but this time wasn’t one of those. It’s the silence I’m going to have to contend with this time. I never know when to speak, or if I should speak at all. I usually stay up in my room when these silences are around. It’s better if I stay out of it, instead of damaging their relationship further.

I walked downstairs to find the shock of my life. My nightmare had become reality. My Mum was sprawled out on the table, motionless. I ran over, praying she was just joking, hoping she was alright. But the closer I got I realised my praying and hoping were going to waste. She was still alive, but only just. I didn’t know what to do. Just standing there wouldn’t do anything but my legs were cemented down. No matter how much I longed them to they wouldn’t budge.

So there ya go, That's all I've got and as usual I don't know where to go from there. I'll keep on working on it though until I have a decent amount, then I might post it somewhere.

Well, I've been particularly down today. Shouldn't have come online, has made me even worse. I just want to curl up in a little ball and go to sleep, or even better curl up in a little ball and never wake up . . . but no that's not the answer. There is another way, I just have to find it.
Had my music performance today, played Hello on the piano. Apparently I'm gonna get a good mark cos I put so much emotion into it (hell let me think why that was, not that hard to figure out if you listen to the words) meh I don't really give a shit what happens. It's only the mocks of the mocks for my GCSE's, yes we have two sets of mocks. Not good.

Certain things have been dragging me down lately, I just want them to stop. I'm sick of feeling like this, I'm sick of being the outsider, the one who gets seen but not acknowledged. Fuck it's getting me down. I used to be happy to come here but now it's a chore, I feel as though I play no part in making the board what it is/was. I'm just the little kid who has nothing worthy to say, nothing of importance.

After rain the sun always shines

Who was it who told me that, yeah the same person (or people) who I rarely talk to anymore because 1, I don't join in, 2, I'm never online (I wonder why that is) and 3, because I'm not worth the effort.

Rina this isn't aimed at you, I know you've told me this quote aswell. You are probably the only person, who I met at the beginning, who I actually still talk to alot.

I'm sick of feeling like this.

Well, I'd forgotten how lonely being alone can be
And now I'm finding it out well, I've been hiding a
Memory that's coming to get me coming back: and how

Because there's only one hell you can put me through
You can't hurt me more than you already do
Well, I'd forgotten the strength it takes to make
It through and boy, I got the joy of that now oh boy
I got the joy of that now

Well, I'd forgotten how lonely being alone
Can be, it never hit me before, well, I've been
Over the edge, and I've been out on the ledge
But you can always hurt a little more

Because there is only on hell you can put me through
You can't hurt me more than you already do, I used to
Hate myself until I found you and boy, I got the joy of
That now oh boy! I got the joy of that now

Set me free just how much blood do you need?
Set me free 'cos I remember the journey
I'd just forgotten how lonely
Well, I'd forgotten being alone can
Be and now I'm finding it out. Though I was
Over the worst until the fantasy burst and
Now I'm picking myself off the ground

But there is only one hell you can put me through
It's the same old place that I already knew
Well, I'd forgotten the true definition of blue
And boy, I got the joy of that now
Oh boy, I got the joy of that now
Oh boy, I got the joy of that now

I've been listening to this song ALOT today and yesterday. Am totally loving it. It made me realise how much I've changed, I read through my LJ today and it struck me how much the internet has actualy influenced me. The people I've met, the friends I've met. Before I was these young girl who had nothing going for her, didn't think anything of herself, didn't care what was gonna happene to her. Now I still think like that but I know I can change it, I'm so much more confident then I was. It's wierd, adults tell you that the internet is a bad thing, dangerous etc. but I'm proof that if you look in the right place it's the total oposite, I probably wouldn't be here for the internet.

Anyway, I need a change, I need some more hobbies. I started up yoga yesterday, it is so amazing how relaxed I am, I have never felt that relaxed and calm in my life ever, I'll definitely be keeping that going, I'm also hopefully starting up dancing again, maybe but because of the teacher I had in Scotland I expect amazing teachers, which frankly around here you can't get.

ok so yeah I'm gonna start rambling if I carry on so I'm gonna stop.

the 'friend' in my last post is still annoying the shite outta me, yeah that was random but she is

Today has been a bit random, was so close to ripping the head off the girl I walk to school with, I swear she's trying to turn into me! *shudders* totally wierd.

When I started walking with her she was a mix of townie/wannabe. Really nice girl but the total opposite of me. Now 1yr on she's still a fucking wannabe AND she's turning into me! She copies every single little specimen I do. Today was bad, I'm the only one at school who wears about 10billion BLACK layers in SUMMER, and shirts and shorts(well extra ripped jeans) in SUMMER. I am the ONLY one who does that. She walks in at break saying that she had been shopping at the weekend to get LAYERS for the SUMMER!! and not just any layers but the EXACT same layers I have, seriously she even has the top that Tom got me. For fucks sake she knows I want to be different, I want to look unique. Why does she fucking copy me when she knows it annoys me. She is so lucky I have good patience and restraint. The worst thing is that she's a spoilt brat(not to be horrible but she is) I said last week that I'm starting to save up for this tshirt I wanted, she came in on Monday with the news that she had bought that exact top and had done the exact same customising to it thatI was gonna do. She does my fucking head in. It wouldn't be as bad if she had started listening to the same music as me or had started writing to me or something stupid like that but no she has to do the whole shabang Same dressing, same customizing, she Layers, same make up, same jewelery, same music, same words, same phrases, even the same fucking opinions.

God it's gone past flattering. Another thing she did today was matchmake two of my friends. I wouldn't have minded if she hadn't been doing it because she wanted to get closer to the guy. Her plan is to get those two going out, get close to the guy then split em up so she can go out with him. It doesn't fucking work like that, if anything she'll lose two of her friends, even more cos the guy and girl she decided to mess with are two of my friends, me and Hana will kill her if she hurts them. God she's annoying me if you hadn't guessed lol

nothing else has happened, just been getting hella annoyed at this girl.

She only ever thinks of herself, never others.

Shit my mums on the phone to Liz, doesn't sound good. For those who don't know what I'm going on about here ya go

Chris, my godmother, has had cancer on and off for 15yrs. It's now got really bad and she hasn't got much time left. She's so ill me and Liz's kids aren't aloud to see her, she's even turned yellow! So yeah whenever Liz phones up it's usually to do with Chris. This really doesn't sound good.

i'm so fucking scared,

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